Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
