Me too!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
