I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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