In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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