Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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