He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All the doctor said was why
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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