Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
