wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
