question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
