when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize