Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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