I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
