He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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