I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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