lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't deserve a penis
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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