I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
