Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We have started to decorate penises.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
