Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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