Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
