wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
