If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize