At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
