i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
