Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nicole vs. Life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
