so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
