I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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