I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize