i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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