I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
