well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she looked like the before picture.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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