I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
