we have pet lesbian snakes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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