Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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