JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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