The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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