Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize