found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
