$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
