She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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