mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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