Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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