Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
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Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores