id be glad to
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.