we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???