Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
