i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
