Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drake has all the answers
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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