Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
