"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
