I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
