you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
