Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
