unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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