Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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drinking out of a sandbucket again
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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