Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
