Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
