I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
