put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
