so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
