love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
