Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The ass gains better be worth it
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