The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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